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June is full of reasons to celebrate. Father’s Day, graduation parties, and weddings. I am one of those women who chose to get married in June. I am amazed that this month marks our 27th anniversary! Considering that the divorce rate is at 50 % in this country, I’m glad that my husband is able to tolerate all my quirks and crazy ideas. I’m sure that he would say that the toughest one for him was to encourage my decision to run a full marathon last year. He would get up on Saturdays, without complaint, at 6 am to ride his bike with me on my longest runs which took 4-5 hours. And he understood that I would not be cooking or doing laundry on those days. He further proved his love and support by bringing me ice for my knees and providing foot rubs while I monopolized the remote control. Even after the race, when my only comment was “That was the stupidest idea I ever had” he replied, “But you’ll do another one. I know you will”.
Now, I do my fair share in ‘accepting’ his idiosyncrasies but we’ve stopped keeping score. After so many years, we have learned to just let some things go. That is my most common bit of advice when people ask me what holds a marriage together. Save your energy for the big issues, and be sure that they will come. During those times, you have to stay focused on what you really believe in and what you are building together. Our faith is at the center of our relationship. We each participate in Bible study, and we serve together at our church. Like our faith, our relationship is a choice. We are not perfect, but we choose to love each other. Each day we make that choice. We agree that love is not a feeling. It is an action that you must choose to practice if you want it to grow. For us, it looks like this:
Being able to keep your mouth shut. Think first – will my comment help or hurt?
Lots of hugs. Physical contact really reduces stress. It is calming and reassuring.
Do something nice for each other every day. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it should be sincere. We pray for each other during our day.
I hope that you all are growing in your relationships. And if you are single right now, remember to treat yourself with love and kindness.
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